6 posts from 2008

Yiayia:  So what kind of job is this?

Lisa: I ride around on buses with tourists and explain what they are seeing.

Yiayia:  So you must get tired walking around all day.

Lisa:  There's no walking.  I sit on the bus and ride around.

Yiayia:  Well just be careful.

Lisa:  OK.

Yiayia:  Be careful that no one bothers you.  ["bother" = euphemism for "sexually violate"]

Lisa:  Right, well, there is usually a crowd of people on the bus.

Yiayia:  Be careful because some people like to bother girls.

Lisa:  Right.  OK.  I'll be careful.

Yiayia:  But you're not someone men like to bother anyway.  You know what I mean.

Lisa:  Um... sure.

Yiayia:  You know what I mean.  Some girls look like they want to be bothered.  But you're serious.  You're a nice girl.

Lisa:  OK.

Yiayia:  But be careful.

Lisa:  OK.  I will be careful.

                   [Later that conversation...]

Yiayia:  So did you eat?  Where do you eat?

Lisa:  What do you mean?  I can eat anywhere.

Yiayia:  Do they take you somewhere to eat?

Lisa:  Who?

Yiayia:  Them.  The people at work.

Lisa:  No.  I can eat anywhere I want.

Yiayia:  So where do you eat?  Are there places to eat?

Lisa:  In Manhattan?  Yes, there are some places.

Yiayia:  So where do you eat?

Lisa:  Don't worry about me.  There is plenty of food in Manhattan.  Just don't worry.

Yiayia:  [immediately concerned]  You have to eat!  You can't work all day without eating!

Lisa:  I am not going to work all day without eating.  Don't worry.

Yiayia:  Don't lose any more weight!  Listen to me!  Don't lose weight again!  You have to eat!  You're going to get sick!

Lisa:  I weigh 170 pounds, Yiayia.

Yiayia:  You're tall!  You have to eat something!

Yiayia still doesn't understand how voice mail on a cell phone works.  No matter how many times it's been explained to her -- and for the record, this is many, many times --  she thinks it is like her home answering machine, in that if the recipient is in the general vicinity, they can hear you leaving the message and pick up the phone.  And obviously, since a person is near their mobile phone at all possible times, then why would they not pick up when they hear it's you?  Clearly that person is either ignoring you on purpose, or has met with some horrible fate.

Yiayia:  What were you doing?

Lisa:  Just reading.

Yiayia:  [alarmed]  Why??

Lisa:  Um... I like to read?

Yiayia:  [still alarmed]  You're not going back to school, are you?

"You know, some women are smarter than men."

On Sarah Palin:
"If she has five kids then why isn't she staying home taking care of them?"

On Barack Obama:
"Actually, he's not really very black.  Just around his lips a little bit."

Yiayia:  What does this form mean?

Lisa:  You need to sign it in order to keep them from raising your rent. It's supposed to stay the same because you're over 65.

Yiayia:  Good, I'm 81, so since I'm even older that's even better.

Lisa:  Well, not really.  It doesn't matter how much older than 65 you are.  Just anyone over 65.

Yiayia:  But I'm a lot older than 65, so it must be a lot better for me.

Lisa:  It's everyone over the age of 65.  You could be 67 or 127 years old and it wouldn't make a difference in this case.

Yiayia:  (clearly not believing)  OK.

Lisa:  Do you see what I'm saying?

Yiayia:  Why are you always saying things just to argue with me?